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"If a guy/girl doesn’t call the guy/girl after a first date that ended with sex, it wasn’t because of the sex," he says. If you really like someone, you shouldn't let outdated dating rules get in the way of that. And I think it alleviates a lot of pressure."
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“The way I look at it is, if you lust after somebody that you don't know terribly well, it can still be a damn good start to a longstanding relationship. "I've had three, three-year-plus relationships and they all started with sex on the first date,” says Alex, 38. But every once in a while, you meet someone and you just know. More often than not, it takes time to figure out if another person is the right one for you.
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1) It helps establish whether you have chemistry. There are a few reasons why sex on the first date isn’t just not a bad idea, but a really great one. Hell, yes, you should have sex on that first date! So should you have sex on the first date? The answer, for Siegel, is “a resounding: it depends.” Here are some times when you should and shouldn’t have sex on a first date.
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“Today I think we are having much more sex on the first date because of technology, as well as more relaxed attitudes about sex, especially for women,” says sex therapist Dr. According to a survey conducted by OkCupid, 46 percent of users would consider having sex on the first date. Luckily, the stigma surrounding sex on the first date is rapidly changing. "I could tell she was feeling a more emotional connection than I was.” "I’ve been on dates before where I turned down sex on the first date, despite being attracted to the other person, because of the potential repercussions," JC*, 34, told Men's Health. And if it is the case, having sex on the first date can send mixed messages to the other person. If a guy has sex on the first date, it's essentially a signal to the other person that all they care about is sex, even if that's not necessarily the case. “Either there is still a stigma, or there is a fear that there is a stigma.”īut while we typically think of the "should I have sex on the first date?" question as exclusive to women, men struggle with this question, too - albeit in a different way. “There is still some holding onto what people might call outdated dating values,” says Lawrence Siegel, a clinical sexologist and sex educator. Even in 2020, some women still believe that if they have sex on a first date, they'll automatically be labeled “not marriage material.” (You know the old saying: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Yeah, that's a dumb saying.) Should you have sex on the first date? That's a loaded question, particularly for women.